I wasn’t sure if it was the phone
Cutting in and out
Or my father
Unable to complete a sentence
But I knew

It took me three minutes
To get out of the building
Into my car
And onto I-10
For the long blank space
Between Phoenix and Tucson

It my mind it was already over
She would be gone before I got there
I felt it
I expected it
And I tried to tell myself
That I could deal with it
That these things happen
And people die

It was still hot
The first days of November
And my car had no AC
So I drove with the wind
Blowing down my sweat
Through the rolled down windows

I was hungry
You are supposed to lose your appetite
In a crisis but I wanted food
And felt guilty about wanting it
But I needed gas anyway
So I got a corn dog at the Flying J
Staring at the people around me
Moving through their day
Without any crisis in mind
It scared me a little
That I was still functioning
I hadn’t fallen apart

I called my wife from the road
She asked how things were and I said
Bad